Where Does My Fidelity Lie?

The word fidelity is defined by Dictionary.com as “strict observance of promises, duties, etc.,” “loyalty,” “adherence to fact or detail,” and “accuracy or exactness.” The idea behind fidelity is that you stick to what you said you’d do, even when you don’t necessarily like it or it’s not particularly easy to do. The concept of fidelity slapped me in the face today during our third teacher workday back at school. And the root cause of it all is money.

Our district adopted a “supplemental” reading program two years ago. It was supposed to address the weak areas of our “core” reading program (of which there were several at the upper elementary level). This supplemental program was very effective with my students during the past two years. I saw tremendous increases in the areas of comprehension and vocabulary. Students were writing more and with more quality. Many of my students even made greater-than-one-year gains (the holy grail of reformers) on assessments of literacy skills. I also was pleased with the new program anthology selections because they better reflected the culture and interests of my students, which is something the core program did not. Students were making connections with their personal lives and between stories. In three words, I was happy.

Today, my happy little world was shattered. Apparently, my district screwed something up. The supplemental program was being used more as a core program by many teachers – myself included. Unfortunately, this didn’t quite jive with the stipulations of the grant that was written to fund this purchase. Many of the teachers questioned this decision at the time and even warned the district that the mandated use of the new program was considerably more than “supplemental.” But the new program worked for my kids, and I embraced it. Today, my district informed all teachers that we were returning to the core reading program “with fidelity.” This includes site visits with checklists, electronic monitoring, and other intimidating practices.

So I sit here at my computer tonight pondering. With whom does my fidelity lie? Is it with the district, which pays my salary and can more easily dismiss me due to changes in Michigan teacher tenure laws and replace me with fresh young teachers who won’t know the difference between the two programs nor the impact on students? Or is it with my students, who desperately need quality materials and instruction? For how much longer can I continue to shut my door and do what’s right by the kids?

Back to School Shopping Anxiety

Each year I eagerly start shopping the back to school sales at the local stores. Colleagues and I text and email each other when we find good buys. I purchase enough of any supply so all of my students (even if there’s 36 of them – you never know) will have the supplies they need for the school year. I get excited when I see their desks on the night before the first day all organized with some of the crucial tools they need to flourish in a learning environment. I enjoy making the classroom an oasis, a place where students who may not have had favorable school experiences feel welcomed and valued.

Ever since I was five years old, I’ve looked forward to selecting pencils, notebooks, crayons, folders, and myriad other school supplies – first for myself and later for my students. Today, I walked past the school supply section of Target. I felt the usual thrill of excitement when I saw the sale sign for notebooks, and took one step toward them when a little voice in the back of my head said, “STOP! What are you doing?” Then I felt the disappointment. I just effectively took a $17,000 pay cut this school year due to salary and additional cuts as well as increased costs. I realized I can’t really afford the usual back to school purchases, and that it was fruitless to look for further buys.

As I walked away from the school supply section, I suddenly became extremely anxious about the upcoming school year. I realized I wasn’t going to provide the notebooks, folders, pencils, paper, crayons, and other supplies I depend on students having for instruction. As a teacher in a poor urban district, I understand and fully expect to not have textbooks and instructional materials in a timely fashion and for students to come to school ill prepared with supplies. That’s just the nature of the beast. I have always been able to address this through the use of my extensive personal classroom library and the materials and supplies I provided for my students.

This year that security blanket is gone. As I walk into my classroom at the start of this year, I have many unanswered and unanswerable questions. What supplies will I have available? Will there even be pencils and paper? Should I inform my parents that I don’t have these things so they can pressure the administration to provide them? Will that get me in trouble with my administration? What will I do for my first few days? How will I introduce journaling and writing and all the other necessary things for students to transition into a new year? Will this year get off to a bad start because I couldn’t properly plan for the first few days/weeks? WHAT WILL HAPPEN????

One might argue that I can easily spend time instead of money preparing for the year. But when it gets right down to it, students still need basic classroom supplies. You see, public schools are the last safety net available to ALL children in society. Teachers are at the front line in a battle against poverty and apathy. The cuts teachers are taking DO end up affecting the classroom, and they often impact the very students who can least afford them.